Take Everything

So, lately I've been so busy that I've forgotten who I am. I've gotten sucked back into my old ways. I've felt broken and hurt. I've let Jesus out of my life. And, to be quite honest, I'm semi-OK with it. Mostly because I don't want to climb out of where I am. I don't want to go through the pain and the brokenness in my life. I don't want to work through it. However, last night I put on a playlist on iTunes that I have labeled, "the ugh list." That's the playlist I listen to when I don't really have a mood. The song, "Take Everything" by Seventh Day Slumber came on. The words on the picture are the words to the chorus. I made this picture tonight because for one, I'm bored because I'm just taking a break and two, because I wanted some sort of reminder of these lyrics. I'm going to set this picture as my background. I took the background picture during the fall. I blurred the entire thing for effect, but also to show that life can get blurry. Our relationship with Christ can get blurry and we don't really know what we're looking at. It's where I am right now. The chorus ends with, "Jesus, take everything." Instead of working through all of my hurt, Jesus can just take it all. I just need to give in and let Him. I don't know when that will be or how long it will take, but it will happen…I hope.

Be Your Own (But Not Alone) Valentine

So it's been a while since I've written. My life has gotten pretty chaotic with school and extra-curriculars and of course, the boyfriend.
Being that it's Valentine's Day, I had to post something.
I see and hear mixed opinions about Valentine's Day. In two of my three classes my professors referenced the special day. However, neither of those has anything to do with what I have to say.
Whether you love or hate the day, it happens every year. Inevitably starting shortly after Christmas, oversized teddy bears and boxes of chocolate galore start to grace the shelves of Wal-Mart. For those who enjoy the holiday, excitement and joy about thoughts of love and showing that special someone how much they care with gifts or spending time with him or her. Then, for those who do not have that significant other, the holiday is just another way that the greeting card industry makes money. And then there are people like me. I'm relatively indifferent. Being single for 18 of my 19 years of life, Valentine's Day was never anything spectacular. Last year was the first time I ever had a boyfriend for Valentine's Day and I didn't know how to react. We had only been together for about three weeks at the time so I didn't expect much. I got a bag of mini Reese's. I rationed them over two days. This year, I got a pair of slippers and a mini cake that we shared. Anyway, enough about my love life. I digress.
I mentioned three types of people regarding Valentine's Day. There's the giddy lover, the depressed single and the generally indifferent. It doesn't matter which category you fall in, or if you have your own category like exotic alien lover of supernova Valentine's Day that occurs once every 300 millenia. I don't know. We all have an opinion about Valentine's Day. But, instead of loving, hating or indiffer-ating the holiday, take it as an opportunity to show people you care.
I mean, we shouldn't need a holiday to tell us to care about people and tell them that. So, take it a step deeper. The amount that you want to show people you care, apply that to yourself. Pamper yourself a little. If not today, someday because, chances are, you deserve it. I know I'm so guilty of not taking time for myself. I just like caring about other people. Just because you can be your own "Valentine" doesn't mean you'll be alone.
I know it's cheesy and cliche, but you ALWAYS have Jesus. He can be your Valentine. No, you can't buy him a bag of Reese's or a pair of slippers or even a cake, but you don't have to buy anything for him. He's technically already your Valentine anyway. He gave us the greatest gift of all...Himself.
So, whether you're single, dating, married, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to get off work as a cook so you can see him so you kill time by blogging and not doing your homework, or if you're just kind of chilling wherever you are romantically, take some pride and probably some hope that you can be your own Valentine tonight. But, even though you're your own, doesn't mean you are alone.